Changes

Life changes quite rapidly, have you noticed?

When I last posted, I had made decisions about the next six months of my life. I everything planned out and had a future in mind. The only variables were the boy I had just met and grad school looming in the future. It was going to be a wonderful and structured summer. I knew where my life was going and what was happening.

Then on a whim I rented a car and drove up to Pittsfield, Massachusetts to see a new musical I had been involved in years ago. I told none of my friends or former colleagues I was coming. It was just a spur of the moment trip. I also thought it would be fun to surprise them if things looked quiet in the office.

I stop to pick up flowers as I cross into town and finally check my phone that had been on silent the last three hours. Something close to 16 missed messages. 5 from my former boss/mentor and the rest from my good friend, and his current assistant. They had seen my name on the house report, was I really coming to see the show? Where was I? Was I here yet?

Then the two that would change everything.

“Do you want my job?” (This is an old joke as her former intern. I laughed to myself and didn’t respond)

“No, I’m serious this time. I just gave notice…”

I walk into the office and am promptly picked up and deposited in her chair. “See ?”she says, “I fixed the problem!” After more chaos and hellos from old friends and colleagues, I sit down with my mentor. I ask if he’s serious about this all. And while he’s still wrapping his mind around her departure, he’s serious. If I want the job, it’s mine. He’ll be putting out a search in the coming weeks, I should expect a call.

“Weeks” becomes one, we have an informal chat about what this would mean and the actual duties of the job. He’s interviewing two others, I’m still first choice if I want it. I won’t hear from him for about a week or so.

It’s less than 24 hours when he calls back with an offer. What’s my decision?

I remember being in my office in New York, between Madison and 5th avenues. I’m doing well, by all definitions I’m successful. But this job isn’t the one I want. It’s barely in the field I want to be in. I look around at my framed pictures and bulletin boards and folders of materials for the incoming students and suddenly feel trapped and stifled. The chains of academia suddenly are a crushing weight on my aspirations.

So before I barely think the words. Yes. Yes, I’ll take it. Send me a contract and we’ll begin negotiations for my arrival in Massachusetts.

My boss arrives several hours later. I give notice at the end of the day. I have done many scary and crazy things. Giving notice at Syracuse University still may be one of the scariest things I’ve done so far.

And somehow, I float on my way to dinner with an old friend. Who nearly drops his laptop in his shock at the sudden turnabout.

The weight was gone. And I had two weeks to pack up my life and try starting a new one.

So here we are in the Berkshires, helping run a theater company. My mentor/boss and I share looks and laughter over our desks of how utterly insane we are to be here and the utter insanity we deal with on a regular basis. But every night, the show goes on, the beautiful moments happen, and we make some art and make some difference.

And it makes all the difference.

 

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