Cancerous Nostalia

Breathing in the warm and bitter smoke

of toxic memories and drunken nights,

the taste of paper and tobacco seared into my brain

joint too closely with you.

The ember and glow light up

the hidden concave lines of your sculpted face,

the sharp jaw that pierced my heart

and breaks through the walls I try to bury it in.

The haze in my memory floats away like the smoke

we blew downwind off of rooftops.

Just the scratch of the match brings me back,

the past illuminated by flame.

A time of youth and beauty,

both glorious and dangerous.

A time best forgotten. Locked away,

hidden like the pack I resist in my drawer.

Like you.

Hidden away and reminded not to touch.

Until the nights are too long, the stars too lonely.

So I climb out to the roof

for one more long drag.

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